I have a male cat named Elmo. I have had him since he was a baby and he is now three…

Oh dear. It seems we have a theme going on this week’s questions. As mentioned before, cats can very often assume that one bad experience will be repeated. So when your boyfriend used the carpet cleaner night after night, and the cat was frightened by the noise, he simply “assumed” it was the boyfriend’s presence that brought that scary thing. So now just the man’s presence (even without the noisy cleaner) has become the “scary thing” and the cat hides.

It will take time for the cat to get over this opinion. Have your boyfriend be the one to feed the cat, if possible. Otherwise, he should ignore the cat, not look at him, and give kitty as much space and time as possible. Let the cat make the first paw-step to return to the former relationship.