We have a two-year-old Maine Coon cat. When we first got her, she was very shy and it…

I can understand your concern, and of course the safety of your grandson is paramount. However, based on your description of the cat’s behavior, her reaction is quite normal, and here’s why. Although to you and me, the toddler seems harmless, your cat instead sees a monster that looks, smells and sounds scary and not like a loving human at all. How tall is your cat? To her, people are giants. She knows and trusts you and your husband because you’ve petted and loved on her and now smells like she does (a very comforting and safe signal for cats). Grandchildren that visit only once in a while don’t give cats the time to recognize they’re harmless—and when frightened, cats have two choices: fight or flight. Hisses, growls and swats are the cat’s way to tell scary things to keep a distance.

Here’s what I suggest. Until your younger grandson reaches an age where he understands not to chase the kitty, keep the cat in a separate room during visits. That protects the toddler, and calms down the cat, preventing potential problems. Because the more the cat “practices” being upset, the greater the chance she’ll never learn to accept being around children.

For the older grandchild, explain why the cat hisses and acts grumpy. Perhaps your grandson has a relative who swoops down at him and pinches his cheek and makes him feel odd…that’s how he makes the cat feel. Instead, if he wants to interact with the cat, make it a “no touch/no chase” rule. He should sit on the floor with a long-distance fishing pole style toy and allow the cat to come to him if she wants, but NEVER force this. Remember, it’s the cat’s house too and she has a right to not be pestered. When she feels safe and respected, and able to stay out of toddler reach, her attitude may calm down.